What to Buy for the Groom: A Practical Shopping List

Grooms usually start shopping late. Somewhere around six weeks before the wedding, someone in the family asks "what are you wearing for the sangeet?" and the panic begins. We see it in our own enquiries too. The bride's side sends us every detail weeks ahead, and the groom's side asks for the link two days before the haldi.

So here is a list for the groom, written the same way as our bride's checklist: one function at a time, with the small stuff at the end.

Start with fittings, not shopping

Indian men's wear almost always needs alterations. A sherwani that looks fine on the hanger can be tight at the shoulders or long in the sleeves. Give yourself time for at least two fittings. If you are getting something stitched, start around three months before the wedding. Ready-made with alterations needs four to six weeks to be comfortable.

Also, check with the bride's family about colours. You do not have to match, but clashing badly in every photo is a regret people talk about for years.

Haldi

• An old white or yellow kurta and pyjama that can be thrown away afterwards. Haldi stains do not come out.
• Old chappals.
• A towel and a change of clothes nearby.

That is genuinely all you need. Spend nothing here.

Mehendi

Grooms often get a small mehendi design on the palm. You will be sitting for a while.

• A light kurta in cotton or linen, in a colour that suits the theme.
• A Nehru jacket if you want to look a bit more dressed up for the photos.
• Comfortable kolhapuris or loafers.

Sangeet or cocktail

This is where you can have fun.

• A bandhgala, an Indo-western jacket, or a well-fitted suit. If you are dancing, test it by moving your arms and sitting down.
• Pocket square or brooch.
• Shoes you can dance in. New formal shoes are painful after an hour.

The wedding day

This is the main event, and the outfit is worth the investment.

• Sherwani or achkan. Pick the fabric for the season. Heavy velvet in a May wedding is a bad idea.
• Churidar or straight pants. Get the length right; churidar should gather at the ankle, not pool.
• Safa or pagdi. Many families tie the safa on the morning itself, so book the person who ties it. In Rajasthani and Marwari families the colour and style of the safa may be decided by the elders, so ask.
• Kalgi (the brooch on the safa) and sehra if your family follows that custom.
• Mojaris or juttis. Wear them around the house for a week before the wedding to soften them.
• Dupatta or stole for the shoulder.
• Mala. Often a pearl or stone mala goes over the sherwani.
• Talwar or kataar in some Rajput, Sikh and Marwari families.
• Innerwear and a vest that does not show through the fabric.

If the wedding is in a hot place, keep a light cotton kurta to change into after the pheras, before dinner.

Reception

• A suit or tuxedo is the most common choice. A bandhgala works if you prefer something Indian.
• Matching shoes and belt.
• Cufflinks and a watch.

Grooming

Grooms leave this to the last moment and then rush a salon visit the day before. Please don't.

• Book a haircut about a week before the wedding, not the day before, so it settles.
• Get a facial or clean-up done a couple of weeks before if you are not used to it. Skin can react.
• Decide early about the beard and stick to that decision. Trim, do not experiment.
• A basic kit in your bag: comb, small mirror, wet wipes, deodorant, lip balm.

Things grooms forget

From what newly married friends and cousins tell us:

• Shagun envelopes and some cash in small notes. You will be asked for money at many points in the ceremony, including at the joota chupai.
• A spare pair of socks and a handkerchief.
• A phone charger, given to a friend who will actually stay near you.
• Medicines for acidity and headache. Long ceremonies and late dinners do this.
• Safety pins. Every family needs safety pins.

We have a longer list of these in our wedding day emergency kit.

What about the groom's family?

Your parents, siblings and close cousins will also be shopping, and usually ask the groom what they should wear. It helps to share one simple plan for each function: a colour or a style. Our piece on planning outfits for the whole family has a simple way to do this without a hundred messages in the group.

A word on budget

It is easy to overspend on the groom's outfit because it feels like a once-in-a-lifetime purchase. Remember that a heavy sherwani is worn for a few hours. Many grooms now rent the wedding sherwani and buy the reception suit, which they can wear again. Rental is worth considering, especially for designer pieces.

And the invitation from your side

If your family is sending its own invitation to your side's guests, ask the bride's family which design they chose, or choose together. Some families make one invitation for both sides, with the groom's family listed equally. Designs like Phulkari for a Punjabi wedding or Navkar for a Jain wedding let both families' names sit side by side, in Hindi and English.

Shop early, try everything on, and break in your shoes. That is most of the battle.